Thankful for NOT being in a hospital room this Thanksgiving, but feeling bad for everyone who is...

This news story about kids spending Thanksgiving in a hospital room in Rochester NY caught my eye when it appeared on the Donate Life blog for a few reasons.  First, we spent last Thanksgiving (2011) in a hospital room with Bean recovering from pneumonia.

Second, one of our close online heart transplant friends - a little boy close in age to Bean and also on a similar timeline transplant-wise (he received his heart about a month after Bean received hers) is spending this year in the hospital with fevers from unknown causes.  Finally, we had a clinic visit the day before Thanksgiving and I saw many, many families coming and going to visit their children in the hospital at Lucille Packard.

Being in the hospital pretty much stinks in general, but being there on a holiday is really bad.  The story doesn't fully capture the disappointment of eating a Thanksgiving meal out of a to-go container (and that only if you have a good friend like I did who was willing and able to bring it by on her own holiday travels) or leftovers from someone else's meal.  The hospital tries to make the most of it, with a special menu for both patients and visitors.  But, it is still institutional food served in institutional containers.  As the mom in the article states, it does become your "normal" after a while, but I don't think normal makes it good or less disappointing.  It is just normal to be suffering that disappointment.

I will say I was happy to be there on Thanksgiving and not Christmas.  So far, we've spent the following holidays in the hospital:  Easter, Fourth of July, and Thanksgiving.  Oh, and if you count it, Cinco de Mayo.  :)  We have a bunny and coffe cup we were given at Sutter Memorial in Sacramento in 2009.   I watched fireworks from the roof of Lucile Packard in 2009.  I ate a Boston Market Thanksgiving dinner at Lucile Packard in 2011.  And we watched a Stanford University's mariachi band play in the lobby of the 3rd floor of Lucile Packard in 2012.  All in all, they are not horrible memories, but the memories from holidays spent at home with family and friends are obviously much, much better!  I think in a way, you don't really have "holiday memories" for the ones spent in the hospital - there, it is just another day.  So, those who spend multiple holidays in a hospital really suffer a loss in their lives.

I am sure to spend another holiday or two in the hospital in the coming years - it is pretty much inevitable with a child who received a heart transplant and now has a leaky valve.  But, for this year, I am thankful to be at home instead of a hospital room!

Happy Thanksgiving - Now, go eat your weight in food!

Thanksgiving is honestly one of my favorite holidays.  There is no stress of buying the perfect gift or even getting the perfect card.  Although there is a lot of cooking involved, it is all pretty normal, everyday food that requires no special talent to make correctly (unless you're one of those crazy foodies who does weird things to normal foods - but, if that is the case, you do that by choice), and everyone feels totally fine sitting around after eating way too much and watching football and then eating more.  That, my friends, is my kind of holiday.

This year is a little less joyful as my mom is going through chemo and doesn't seem to have a very good appetite right now, my dad has dementia and will need someone to help him eat, my husband is sick with a cold, and I'm exhausted after spending the week helping out my parents.  But, I am thankful that we will have an excellent meal made in my sister's amazing new kitchen that was just finished about a month ago, that both parents will be present, despite their ailments and that our daughter is in good health.  Last year, I spent Thanksgiving in a hospital room at the Children's hospital where she receives care.  She was diagnosed with pneumonia and poor oxygenation two days before Thanksgiving and we were there until two days after Thanksgiving.  So, this year, despite all it's negatives, is much better than last year.

I will say that I will NOT be participating in the Black Friday madness (really, can we call it Black Friday anymore with stores opening at 8 p.m. on Thursday?).  It is an event I view with much disdain ever since working retail during my college years.  For those who have to work those events, the dread will surely ruin the holiday for some (if their work schedule doesn't ruin it for them).  For any of you planning to participate, I have a few pleas for you:

1. Don't act like you didn't realize there would be a crowd - there will be lines, there will be pushy people (heck, you may be one).
2. Don't physically or emotionally abuse your fellow shoppers or the store workers.  Is it really worth saving $100 to make others feel horrific either physically or emotionally?  If the answer for you is yes, seek help.
3. Don't force your friends and/or family to go with you.  It is cruel and it will ruin the holiday for some of them!  Find friends and/or family who WANT to get up at some ungodly hour and go to an overcrowded store to stand in line.
4. Don't sacrifice your holiday for your consumer items.  I just saw a news story that showed people camping out in front of Best Buy.  Some said they have not had a Thanksgiving dinner at home in years.  Seems like you've missed the point of the holiday...

Okay - if, after all that, you still feel compelled to shop - go to it!  I will be happily sitting around, eating leftovers and taking my mom to a chemo appointment (well, I won't be happily doing that, but it is what I will be doing).