New Month, New Plan and an Editorial Calendar!

February has arrived and with it comes many things: Valentine's Day, heart awareness month and my daughter's birthday!  For those of you who might be unfamiliar with my daughter's story, it is recorded over at my other blog A Second Heart.  I don't blog much there any more unless she has some health issues, but the back story is there.  In short, she had severe heart issues as a baby and had to have a heart transplant at 4 1/2 months old.  So, she is part of the 1 in 100 who have heart defects or problems and February is our month to raise awareness.  I will be posting more on that in the coming weeks.

In addition to that during the month of February, she also celebrates her birthday.  Which is a big deal when you've seen death come extremely close in the past.  This is the first year that she has been both well and old enough to understand a birthday, so we're throwing her a party.  We are inviting her preschool friends and some former playgroup members to come and we're having it at the Pre-preschool down the street.  So, we will have an art project, lots of fun indoor playthings to do like dress up and playdough and a slide and tons of toys.  It is perfect for a preschool party in a month that the weather can be a little too unpredictable for a park party.  I am horrible at planning and implementing parties though and February is one of my busiest work months.  So, I'm really going to try to keep it simple and not put a lot of pressure on myself.  Perfection is not necessary - they are three and four years old for goodness sake!

I am also implementing a new blog plan this month with an official editorial calendar!  I feel like my blogging is haphazard to say the least.  So, I'm going to see if having an editorial calendar will help.  I took the cue from Scraps of My Geek Life (don't you just love that name?) who had a fantastic editorial calendar for excel that you can download and fill in with all your blogging ideas!  Which I have started to do.  So, tomorrow, I start with my first editorial calendar post and I'm hoping that it will continue at least most days (versus being so hit and miss)!  I'm excited to have a plan to implement versus just some random idea of wanting to say something every once in a while.

Finally, this month is Valentine's Day.  I must say that I find myself to be a little less than pleasant as a wife lately.  So, since it is the month of hearts and love, I figured I would try to be a little more of a loving wife this month.  I will share some ideas I'm trying and some blogs I'm finding that I hope will be helpful in that pursuit.

My focus this month is Heart and Soul.  Heart because of Valentine's Day and heart awareness and Soul because I need to do some soul-searching to find myself and my place in this world.  I am feeling incapable of being the Girl who Can Rant because I'm unsure what I should be ranting about - good or bad.  And that, for me, is a little scary.  I just feel a little lost from my usual place of being.  So, I will be doing a little bit of work on that as well this month.  And hopefully, but the time March rolls around, I will have a better marriage, some things I can rant about from a place of security, and a healthy daughter who stands as a testament to the lifesaving gifts of modern medicine.  And I hope that you will know more about all of these things from reading the blog!

See you tomorrow!

Good Riddance 2012...Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out!

I don't think I've ever been so happy to see a year go away!  And that is saying quite a bit considering 2009 brought me a 2 month premature baby in February who was rehospitalized in April and got a heart transplant in July of that year.  But, still, getting the heart was good news and although the year sucked in many ways, it was a year that made me recognize how many great friends and family members I had.

This past year was full of bad news and crappy experiences dotted with good things that were few and far between.  We found out in March or so that a "bump" during a biopsy had damaged a valve in my daughter's heart that would require a second open heart surgery.  Prior to figuring out that surgery would be needed, her chest filled up with fluid and we were in the hospital for a week with a chest tube to get it drained so she could stop struggling to breathe.  In addition, she had to go on another medicine, to add to the five she was already on regularly.  About the same time, we found out that my mom's cancer was back and she was going to have to have surgery and do yet another round of chemo.  She has since done a round of chemo, started another, had a reaction about 2/3 of the way through the second one and is convinced she is terminal.  My dad's dementia got much, much worse as well during the first half of the year.  After the open heart surgery in May, we spend almost two weeks in the hospital and then a good three or four weeks at home pretty miserable dealing with the healing.  No swimming was allowed during the first two months of the summer due to the surgery.  We ended the summer with a tonsillectomy/adenoidectomy for my daughter that was horribly needed, but required another week in the hospital and another period of recovery at home.  Finally, my finances have not really improved at all despite my husband taking a higher paying job that requires him to be away from home for three to four nights a week.  This on top of the seven weeks he spends away from home during the summer at camps.  The last part of the year has been better than the first, but it still hasn't brought rose petals and champagne.

So, I'm hoping for 2013 to be better.  I'm not going to say it can't get worse, because I realize it could get worse...much worse.  But, I am going to enter the new year with some optimism that things will continue to improve.  That we will be able to go a few months without anyone in my immediate family being in the hospital for more than a few hours.  I am also hoping that I can finally find me in this crazy world that I have somehow created, but yet still do not really feel a part of in any meaningful way.  I have a job that I enjoy, but I don't have any sort of a community there.  I love the city I live in, but I don't have any real circle of friends in that community either.  I have a great family, but I often feel disconnected and rushed through the experiences I share with them.  So, I am going to do my best to change some of those things and to embrace the reality of my life while still maintaining some sort of normalcy.

I am also looking forward to all of the cliche new year resolutional goals:  getting in better shape/healthier, getting more organized, getting out of debt and on the way to financial independence/success, being more kind, etc., etc.  I probably won't be able to achieve any of those things, but I will always aim high and maybe I will get off the ground a little.

Anyways, I may post again before 2013, but thought I would get a post in here and now while I was thinking about how much 2012 has given me gray hair and tired me out.  Here's to 2013 being better.  Much, much better.

Monday Quiz - Christmas Eve Edition

I am participating in the Monday Quiz About Me today.  I haven't posted in a while and thought this would be an easy way to ease back in to it.  I have been visiting family, dealing with end of the semester grading (still ongoing), and trying to catch my breath.  So, without further ado, here is the quiz:

1. What is your favorite Christmas tradition?

I have lots of favorites.  I love decorating the tree (even though we don't do anything too fancy) and pulling out all the decorations for the house and deciding where to put them.  I also love driving around looking at Christmas lights.  And, we have now started the Elf on the Shelf tradition with my daughter (3yo) and that has been a lot of fun!  

2. How does Santa manage to circle the world in one night?

Really fast reindeers.  And perhaps a bit of help from some Dr. Who kind of technology!  :) 

3. How does Santa deliver into your home?

He comes on Christmas Eve.  If we are at our house, we don't have a fireplace, so he has to come in a backdoor. :)  When at our in-laws, they have a fireplace, so he can come down through the fireplace.  Right now there is a pile of stuff there, so I already told my daughter that she has to clean out in front of it, or Santa will trip and fall on his way in with the presents!  :) 

4. How do reindeer fly?

In the same way that Santa has some Dr. Who type of technology, I think the reindeer have some My Little Pony magic happening! 

And now for my additional fifth question (feel free to respond in comments, especially with Pinterest links!)

5. What is your favorite Christmas food or recipe?

I love appetizers!  My favorite is probably meat and cheese trays with olives and such.  I really would like for Christmas to have no dinner - just brunch (I love breakfast food) and appetizers the rest of the days.  Meat and cheese trays, veggie trays, cheese and crackers, chips and dip, meatballs or Little Smokies in the crockpot (or both), etc.  Yum, yum...this year we are going to try to make this Crescent Roll Breakfast Casserole tomorrow for brunch!  I'll let you know how it turns out!  

Thankful for NOT being in a hospital room this Thanksgiving, but feeling bad for everyone who is...

This news story about kids spending Thanksgiving in a hospital room in Rochester NY caught my eye when it appeared on the Donate Life blog for a few reasons.  First, we spent last Thanksgiving (2011) in a hospital room with Bean recovering from pneumonia.

Second, one of our close online heart transplant friends - a little boy close in age to Bean and also on a similar timeline transplant-wise (he received his heart about a month after Bean received hers) is spending this year in the hospital with fevers from unknown causes.  Finally, we had a clinic visit the day before Thanksgiving and I saw many, many families coming and going to visit their children in the hospital at Lucille Packard.

Being in the hospital pretty much stinks in general, but being there on a holiday is really bad.  The story doesn't fully capture the disappointment of eating a Thanksgiving meal out of a to-go container (and that only if you have a good friend like I did who was willing and able to bring it by on her own holiday travels) or leftovers from someone else's meal.  The hospital tries to make the most of it, with a special menu for both patients and visitors.  But, it is still institutional food served in institutional containers.  As the mom in the article states, it does become your "normal" after a while, but I don't think normal makes it good or less disappointing.  It is just normal to be suffering that disappointment.

I will say I was happy to be there on Thanksgiving and not Christmas.  So far, we've spent the following holidays in the hospital:  Easter, Fourth of July, and Thanksgiving.  Oh, and if you count it, Cinco de Mayo.  :)  We have a bunny and coffe cup we were given at Sutter Memorial in Sacramento in 2009.   I watched fireworks from the roof of Lucile Packard in 2009.  I ate a Boston Market Thanksgiving dinner at Lucile Packard in 2011.  And we watched a Stanford University's mariachi band play in the lobby of the 3rd floor of Lucile Packard in 2012.  All in all, they are not horrible memories, but the memories from holidays spent at home with family and friends are obviously much, much better!  I think in a way, you don't really have "holiday memories" for the ones spent in the hospital - there, it is just another day.  So, those who spend multiple holidays in a hospital really suffer a loss in their lives.

I am sure to spend another holiday or two in the hospital in the coming years - it is pretty much inevitable with a child who received a heart transplant and now has a leaky valve.  But, for this year, I am thankful to be at home instead of a hospital room!

Happy Thanksgiving - Now, go eat your weight in food!

Thanksgiving is honestly one of my favorite holidays.  There is no stress of buying the perfect gift or even getting the perfect card.  Although there is a lot of cooking involved, it is all pretty normal, everyday food that requires no special talent to make correctly (unless you're one of those crazy foodies who does weird things to normal foods - but, if that is the case, you do that by choice), and everyone feels totally fine sitting around after eating way too much and watching football and then eating more.  That, my friends, is my kind of holiday.

This year is a little less joyful as my mom is going through chemo and doesn't seem to have a very good appetite right now, my dad has dementia and will need someone to help him eat, my husband is sick with a cold, and I'm exhausted after spending the week helping out my parents.  But, I am thankful that we will have an excellent meal made in my sister's amazing new kitchen that was just finished about a month ago, that both parents will be present, despite their ailments and that our daughter is in good health.  Last year, I spent Thanksgiving in a hospital room at the Children's hospital where she receives care.  She was diagnosed with pneumonia and poor oxygenation two days before Thanksgiving and we were there until two days after Thanksgiving.  So, this year, despite all it's negatives, is much better than last year.

I will say that I will NOT be participating in the Black Friday madness (really, can we call it Black Friday anymore with stores opening at 8 p.m. on Thursday?).  It is an event I view with much disdain ever since working retail during my college years.  For those who have to work those events, the dread will surely ruin the holiday for some (if their work schedule doesn't ruin it for them).  For any of you planning to participate, I have a few pleas for you:

1. Don't act like you didn't realize there would be a crowd - there will be lines, there will be pushy people (heck, you may be one).
2. Don't physically or emotionally abuse your fellow shoppers or the store workers.  Is it really worth saving $100 to make others feel horrific either physically or emotionally?  If the answer for you is yes, seek help.
3. Don't force your friends and/or family to go with you.  It is cruel and it will ruin the holiday for some of them!  Find friends and/or family who WANT to get up at some ungodly hour and go to an overcrowded store to stand in line.
4. Don't sacrifice your holiday for your consumer items.  I just saw a news story that showed people camping out in front of Best Buy.  Some said they have not had a Thanksgiving dinner at home in years.  Seems like you've missed the point of the holiday...

Okay - if, after all that, you still feel compelled to shop - go to it!  I will be happily sitting around, eating leftovers and taking my mom to a chemo appointment (well, I won't be happily doing that, but it is what I will be doing).